Thursday, December 7, 2017

a little more pain

each
rain
drop
carries
a little
more
pain

i can
still
find
the
pleasure

god
hasn't
defeated
me yet
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
purple tears of rage

she's crying purple
tears of rage once
again

crank up the music
and let everything
go

the tainted lies
from the sperm
donor that chose
a pipe rather than
diapers

the countless 
abusers that saw
an opportunity
rather than a
lovely young
soul

embrace the
pain as a means
to control it

a way to use that
negative energy
as a weapon for
you to go out and
seek your revenge

the red pill will
take you back
twenty-six years

the blue pill will
give you the power
to control your future

and yes

the smart ones
take both
--------------------------------------------------------------------
just me and my thoughts

sitting alone in
the rain, just me
and my thoughts

i'd pray for
lightning but god
doesn't answer
my prayers

i close my eyes
and see lover
after lover
walking out
the same door

endless teachers
i was smarter
than

so much
potential to
do what others
wanted for me

i chose the long
line of alcohol
and drugs and
endless creativity

sitting alone in
the rain, just me
and my thoughts

proud i wasn't
a coward like
my father

had the balls
to dream and
not seek the
easy way to
it
------------------------------------------------------------------------
but i tend to believe

i had a dream
i pulled into
the parking
lot of the
church i
used to go
to and killed
myself

i guess i was
hoping god
would find
it ironic

but i tend
to believe
my dream
was telling
me that no
matter what
my little ego
likes to think

none of this
fucking shit
matters

we are nothing
more than a
pimple on the
ass of the world

simply germs
waiting for the
worms
--------------------------------------------------------------------
behind a white picket fence

a flash
of lightning
and i think
back to the
dreams of
my childhood

holding the
love of my
life during
a thunderstorm
in a big house
somewhere
behind a white
picket fence

flash forward
and arthritis
is slowly
driving
me insane

while i try to
do whatever
it takes to stay
in my mother's
will

the price
for daring
to dream
as a child
is finding
out none of
them come
true when
being an
adult slowly
grinds you
to death

J.J. Campbell

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Call to Witness

The fact that I was born
proves there is a divine force
in the universe
if I do say so myself
because I shoot light
as a hobby
and I am made of water
like the Great Lakes
and I bear witness
to the world
the minute I am awake
you all need me here
so that you can see
your fine selves in my eyes
as you strut your stuff
each of you lost
in your own parade
many of you grace
the pages of my mind
as I transform you into
literary lore
I am the court stenographer
and sketch artist
in this trial by fire
juried by peers
with nothing but
unrequited desire
in their eyes
and their death sentence
verdict
even for those
guilty of innocence
should really come
as no surprise

Ivan Jenson

Horizon People

People are talking
about the new normal
where you are not
in your room
in your bed
watching your shows
the volume so loud
that I was the only one
who heard the phone
it was always for you
and I would bring it to you
and you would talk to
your other children
or your old boss
at the New Jersey truffle factory
the two of you had a lasting
friendship that was forged
over dark and milk chocolate
and flavors like pistachio cream
going back to when you both
smoked cigarettes
and you had a thing
with the tall rustic accountant there
kudos to the both of you
for finding love late in life
and then cancer took him
and now you
to a place somewhere
I think I can almost see
if I squint and stare
when I drive through
sunset's glare


Ivan Jenson

Baby Steps

Every morning I have
to go out and get fresh air
some between-the-clouds
sunshine
some coffee
and some looks
from pretty strangers
in order to recover
just a little bit
from the spectacular
success and disaster
of our friendship
mother
of everything
that is out there
and in here
it was so nice
getting to know you
in all your guises
and disguises
like the public you
so gregarious
and the private
dark side
that often scared
the hell out of us
kids whose
cries often turned
right back into laughter...
it was quite simply
the happiest
unhappy childhood
that ever could be
the one you
gave to my brothers
my sisters
and me


Ivan Jenson

Road Kill

Now that this
thankless job of being
a son
is done
I feel as frightened
and exhilarated
as an ex-con
on the day he is
set free
from prison
ready to try
out a new role
as an outstanding
citizen
who has to check
in with the parole
agent of anguish
periodically
as a way of
touching base
with the memory
of your aged face
I am now both orphan
and foster child
an abandoned adult
left on the highway
or a stray cat
that luckily has never
been declawed
because now
I have to
street fight
to stay alive


Ivan Jenson


Spotless Eternity

The most peculiar
thing happened to me
when I wept in front
of a stranger who
happened to be my therapist
and that was the realization
that I am not through
with you
even though
you are finished with me
and all my nonsense
because everything for you
is now a non issue
you have no time
and therefore have
no patience for people
of my kind
even if I happen to
have been your son
you have bigger concerns
even deceased you are
ever the mother,
all you want to do
is vacuum the vast vacuum
and dust the dust


Ivan Jenson